Honestly, no, time hasn’t flown by fast. Getting married four years ago feels like forever ago. I’m certain we feel this way because we’ve created immeasurable memories that it would be impossible to fit them into a smaller time frame. And I’m glad it works this way.
In the past four years, we’ve experienced incredible blessings along with unfortunate ones. It was always God’s will from the start. From the very first connection we had to the wedding day, there were no obstacles. It was natural, it was pure. Our first year living together as newlyweds seemed so surreal. I always felt like I was floating above and watching our life from a distance. I had a hard time being present, in the moment. With my whole being, I couldn’t believe that this was my INCREDIBLE new life. My new life felt so undeserved and I was humbled at God’s grace toward me. To this day, I’m still touched.
Later that year, our life took a sharp turn. Our dream to start a family had been shattered in pieces when we realized that we lost our first embryo. We’ve prayed and grieved keeping a dark secret in our hearts. Having people know and feel sorry for us wouldn’t change anything. In addition, it hurt a lot to talk about the loss of our “so awaited” child.
Experiencing an early pregnancy loss has taught us many things that we are thankful for today. It’s better off to grieve together than remaining closing up and feeling all alone. We understand that in the midst of sorrow we can lose our focus and start blaming God. It’s important to remain faithful because the trustworthy God has a plan. In our case, a plan far more promising and bright - a rainbow baby.
A few months later, we conceived the second time. God knew exactly what was going on in our hearts. Faith with a side of fear and optimism with a chance of pain. So one morning, reading the Scripture before work, I asked God to give me a clear answer about this child I am nervously carrying. I randomly opened the Bible and there was a verse promising that spoke directly to me about my unborn child. Woah! I was startled at the quick response and cried from happiness. God kept His promise and we have birth to our beautiful firstborn, Josephine Yael. She is our brightest, biggest blessing with many more to come.
God takes care of His people. In the Bible, we read about how He is so fixed on Israel and craves their repentance. And yet, it was up to them to make that step and turn to Him. When we turn to God, this allows us to build a stronger bond with the Almighty God that we get to call “ours.” Making Jesus the foundation of our household has brought us abundant blessings and advantages. We get to live peacefully even though we are two different people. Because of God’s love, we learn to love unconditionally. No man (woman) left behind, we grow together in every aspect of life.
Yes, four years feels like forever ago because they’ve been fully satisfying. Everything that happened brought us here today. My life with him is perfect in every way.