In the past year or so, I have been praying to God to reveal His purpose for me. I wanted to know what I could do to glorify His name with my existence. As I was desperately waiting for my response, I came to realize that I already had my answer. For this particular period of my life, I was destined to be a mother. God entrusted me with two living and evolving human beings. Two souls ready to be shaped and guided into God’s admirable children. Wow! Now that’s a blessing no one can replace.

As many of you are mothers yourself, you know how difficult it may get. It is not an easy purpose to attain. Waking up early for some “scheduled alone time” has been a saving grace. Some quiet time to get my thoughts together and write a blog. I also believe that having my own blog where I can share my testimony is also part of my purpose. Although it’s not something I do every day, it does take a minute to produce. But I am grateful for the opportunity to get on here and explore how beautifully crazy motherhood can get.

For example, no one really told me about the difference between having one child and having two children. It’s like day and night! I am personally still adapting to being a mother of two. With one child, I was able to enjoy basic luxuries such as: shower, relax, take a nap, work on my blog, drink a cup of matcha, read a book, shop online, etc. All of that was done while the child was napping. That’s 1-2 free hours a day of doing whatever my heart desired. That's even plenty of time to clean the entire house! Although it was tiring, I always ended up having energy leftover. I thought that since I have extra love, time, and energy to give, it was time for baby #2.

Although baby #2 was not a mistake (never!), it’s quite a different challenge. Along with double the blessing, now there is double the responsibility. That means that I am officially outnumbered (especially felt when my husband is at work.) Both girls are incredible angel babies, but mom doesn’t seem to be kvelling about her own accomplishments. It almost feels like I'm doing something wrong here. Something isn't lining up and getting the hang of this is still difficult even though I’ve already done this before - raising my first baby. I know for sure that I am fulfilling my calling this way.

When toddler #2 is napping, toddler #1 is playing or staying busy. This is the ideal time for me to spend quality time with her. We can play together or simply have a conversation. It’s my opportunity to introduce her to a new Biblical story or talk about the familiar ones. But I also need her to practice her alphabet, numbers, and poems. I am fulfilling my calling this way. While she has my “full” attention, I can multi-task and prepare lunch or even dinner. That is not always the case but it’s quite an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. Speaking of two birds with one stone, I can finally check my emails or dms while using the bathroom during my “alone time.” However, that personal time STILL gets invaded by two little girlies who love me so much and don’t even mind the discomfort lol.

Everyday looks different for a mother. Another day, another opportunity to fulfill my calling as a mother. The older one started a Preschool Program at home, which usually takes 1-2 hours a day. Going through her curriculum is quite enjoyable because she is a quick learner and fun to be around with. I like knowing that I am fulfilling my calling this way. I may be terrible for this but it bothers me that everything else at home is on pause lol. I try so hard to control myself and not rush through the lesson. I guess my household chores can wait! My child’s education and preparation for kindergarten is far more important than a clean and tidy house. I am finding that home is where there are signs of kids. Where books and toys lay around the floor. Where the matching sock is nowhere to be found because little feet get hot multiple times a day.

Oftentimes, I pour myself a morning glass of water and forget to drink it because someone else needs me more. It sits there until I have a moment to think about what I was doing earlier. Now it’s 10a.m. and I remembered about my glass of water from 8a.m. Perhaps that’s a fair reason why I began skipping breakfast overall. That’s me fulfilling my calling.

Throughout the day I fully dedicate my mental and physical self to my girls. I have bigger priorities now therefore my personal needs are my last resort. I would give my life for them. They are my walking and living testimonies. As overwhelming as this sounds, deep inside I feel SO extremely lucky to live for someone else. I am their everything. God trusted me and still does. I am completely humbled at His decision. I plan on serving in this ministry as well as I am able to for I am raising daughters for Christ. Some days are harder than others but that’s not a valid excuse to give up.

The next time you run into me, I hope you understand why I feel or even look a certain way. Life can feel overwhelming during this season of my life. When I think of other mothers, I say a prayer for you. Only God from above can supply us with an extra source of energy, love, and patience. We still got this, mamas!

God bless you and your babies.